


Kissing Curse

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Kissing, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi, Sex Pollen, Vulcan Kisses, no one is safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 17:48:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10518768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Damnit Jim, It’s not sex pollen!”“Then what is it?”“As near as I can tell, the plant's making people kiss based on level of familiarity.”“So, in other words I would have rather not known why my helmsmen are making out in my chair.”“That’s not the point! Jim, it’s getting worse. Yesterday you felt the need to kiss your friends on the cheek and give your lover a simple peck on the lip, the day before people were only kissing lovers on the cheek and offering friends hugs! Today lovers are making out, friends are kissing a bit too intimately, and acquaintances are getting kissed on the cheek left and right. Jim if this keeps up there’s no telling where it’ll end!”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or their settings.

To be fair this one was not Jim’s fault. As a matter of fact, Jim wasn’t even in the landing party. 

Spock lead the party which consisted of two other science officers and Hikaru. The people seemed friendly and for once they turned out to be actually friendly. They were so happy with their new trade deal that they allowed the landing party to take something back with them. 

One science officer picked a healing stone, while the other picked a strange goop that the children seemed to find entertaining. Spock simply took a feather offered when he tried to refused a gift altogether. Hikaru, however, chose to bring back a plant, specifically, the plant that was held in the highest regard of the people who lived there.

The problems didn’t start off immediately, or maybe they did. There seemed to be a bit more affection in the air as the crew went about their day. Lovers seemed more inclined to drop passing kisses, while friends were more willing to kiss a cheek than they normally would. Even Spock dropped a kiss to Nyota’s forehead this morning at breakfast and a Vulcan kiss when they separated on the bridge.

Jim didn’t truly notice the behavior at first. Leonard wasn’t the most publicly affectionate lover but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d kissed Jim in the mess, or in the corridor, or on the bridge. No, Jim noticed the behavior when he turned to Spock and felt compelled to kiss him on the check. Shaking himself of the thought, Jim’s attention landed on Pavel where the compulsion started again. Jim didn’t resist this time and when he pulled away from the alarmed Russian, he turned to the science station.

“Mr. Spock,” Jim said at the same time Spock said, “Captain.”

Jim looked to his first officer and felt the pull once again. He cleared his throat when he caught himself leaning towards the Vulcan. 

“Continue, Mr. Spock,” Jim said trying to bring the situation back under control. Out of the corner of his eye Jim could see Hikaru and Pavel sneaking another kiss, that would be the twelfth in the past hour.

“Captain,” Spock said drawing Jim’s attention back to him, “I believe something is infecting the crew.”

Jim looked around the bridge with a clearer understanding of what was going on. Almost as if summoned Jim’s Yeoman, Janice Rand walked into the room and planted a kiss on the cheeks of Nyota, Carol Marcus and Jim himself before handing him his reports. Jim swallowed, “Yes, Mr. Spock, I think you’re right. Sulu, you have the conn. Try not to ravish Chekov.”

\---

Jim and Spock spent the entire turbo-lift ride trying not to kiss one another. It was with relief that they finally reached the deck they needed to be on. 

They walked a little way down the corridor and turned into med bay. The main room was packed and Leonard was nearly running around the room.

“Ah, I can see you’re busy, Bones, but I think we need to talk,” Jim yelled out over the room. Several crew members turn towards their captain but only the Ensign leaning against the wall by the entrance had the nerve to come over and hug him.

Jim, slightly in shock, hugged back. It felt strange, also most energizing to hug her. The Ensign pulled away as Leonard marched over. He leaned in to kiss Jim and when their lips met that strange energizing feeling was back. Jim nearly collapsed in shock when Leonard started leaning in towards Spock’s cheek, though Leonard snapped out of it before anything interesting happened.

“Damnit, come here,” Leonard snarled as he dragged the two other men into his office.

When the door shut behind Spock, Jim turned towards the doctor. Jim had to once again push down the urge to kiss his boyfriend. “What’s going on? Did someone bring something on to the ship? Why is everyone acting all,” Jim said, waving his hand in the air, “overly affectionate?”

“The only objects brought aboard the Enterprise within the correct time frame where those brought from the last mission.” Spock paused thoughtfully, “It was most likely the plant Mr. Sulu brought aboard with him but it would be wise to test all four of the objects in case.”

Leonard nodded, “The scanners are showing no signs of anything foreign in the crew’s systems.”

“What about something non-foreign?” Jim asked before giving in and kissing Leonard.

When they pulled back Leonard answered, “I was about to check that when you two walked in. If Spock could round up those items, I could have results on that front by the time he returned.”

Jim sighed, “I’m going back to the bridge. Comm me when you figure anything out, something tells me I’d only distract you here.”

Leonard snorted before replying, “Jim, there isn’t a soul in that room whose not distracting. Between my nurses dropping kisses on my cheek and random people I barely know trying to hug me, I’m about to lose it. I’m not made for this much love!”

Jim rolled his eyes before dropping one last kiss on Leonard’s mouth. “So, you say Bones. You’re a teddy bear, really.”

As he was walking past Spock to get out the door, Jim’s control finally failed. All three men froze as Jim dropped a kiss on Spock’s cheek.

Leonard coughed, “Right, out of my office. None of this ever happened.”

“Right you are Bones,” Jim said as he trotted out of med bay, dodging wayward crewmembers who wished to hug him.

\--

Nyota and Jim were staring one another down. It started as an accident really, the two accidentally made eye contact and the pull started. Jim, being himself, gave his communications officer a wink. It’s hardly his fault she took it as a challenge. Jim was about to give up and just go over and kiss her cheek when Alpha shift ended. It was an almost instantaneous shift and neither Jim nor Nyota could stop themselves as their lips met for a second before the two pushed one another away.

Jim looked around the bridge wondering if the two of them had simply lost their minds but no, the friendly cheek kisses had given way to pecks on the mouths. If Pavel and Hikaru were any measure than pecks on the lips gave way to make out sessions.

“This is not good.” Jim said turning to Nyota, “You have the conn. I have to go find Spock and Bones. Let’s hope they have an answer by now.”

\---

Jim was accosted by Scotty on his way to med bay as the Scotsman made his way to the mess. Jim was willing to admit he was scared to brave the mess at this point.

Walking into med bay meant a kiss on the lips from Christine and a kiss on the check from another Ensign, brave little things those were. 

Jim made his way into Leonard’s office. Leonard and Spock seemed to be having a standoff in the middle of the room. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what just happened between the two.

“Hey, I’m not mad if you’re not,” Jim said walking further into the room. “I may have accidently kiss your girlfriend Spock but I’m thinking you may have accidentally kissed my boyfriend so, we’re even.”

“Kid, listen to me, we are never speaking of this ever again!” Leonard said pointing a finger in Jim’s face for emphasis. An angry Leonard really wasn’t helping Jim’s control right now.

“I agree with the Doctor on this,” Spock said before shifting topics. “I believe we have discovered what is causing the irrational behavior of our crew.”

“Let me guess sex pollen?” Jim said sarcastically as he leaned in towards Leonard.

Leonard had to use all his self-control to push Jim away. “Damnit Jim, it’s not sex pollen!”

“Then what is it?” Jim asked, his eyes were focused on Leonard’s lip.

“Near as I can tell, the plant is making people kiss based on level of familiarity.”

“So, in other words, I would have rather not known why my helmsmen are making out in my chair.” Jim said, a feeling of trepidation settled in his stomach. This didn’t sound good.

“That’s not the point! Jim, it’s getting worse. Yesterday you felt the need to kiss your friends on the cheek and give your lover a simple peck on the lip, the day before people were only kissing lovers on the cheek and offering friends hugs! Today lovers are making out, friends are kissing a bit too intimately, and acquaintances are getting kissed on the cheek left and right. Jim if this keeps up there’s no telling where it’ll end!” Leonard’s eyes were wide as he finished his lecture.

“So, you and Spock are friends then?” Jim joked but inside he was freaking out. This crossed so many consent issues it wasn’t even funny. Jim was well aware of what Leonard was implying, if this continued too far it would enter the realm of sex.

Leonard and Spock seemed to understand that Jim was dealing with this in his own way and let the question slide.

“It’s increasing the levels of oxytocin and testosterone in the system. The increase of the two hormones causes an increase in affection and desire. This increase appears to get worse every twenty-four hours as noticed since the plant was brought on board. With this in mind we have until Beta shift tomorrow to find a solution before there is a risk of sex.” Spock said, his face twisted in discomfort.

Jim didn’t have much time to stop him before Spock reached out and dragged his first two fingers along Jim’s. Jim wasn’t prepared for the shock to go down his arm but it settled in his spine none the less. Vulcan kissing was more intense than he’d thought it’d be.

Jim and Spock snatched their hands back.

Leonard, looking between the two men, finally broke the silence that had fallen over the room. “Uh, if we can keep couples away from each other we can extend our time frame to forty-eight hours. That is to say if sex even is the next step, there are after all things more intimate than kissing and less intimate than sex.”

“Right,” Jim said, “You two will stay in the lab and if you don’t have answers in forty-five hours I want you working in separate labs with people you barely know. That will give you an extra twenty-four hours to work. I’m sending Sulu down to work with you, that will keep him off the bridge and away from Chekov. In forty-five hours, if you don’t have a solution, I’m scrambling the bridge crew and putting the ship on house arrest. I’ll contact Starfleet and tell them our time frame. Hopefully, if needed there is a ship that can make it here in time to avoid disaster.”

\---

Four hours. There were four hours left before Jim would need to lock down the ship, four hours before Leonard, Spock and Hikaru needed to separate. The nearest starship was the USS Endeavor which was half a day away. They needed answers but Jim knew better than to comm Leonard again. 

With the mounting hormones in their system the two had taken to snapping at one another. All communication with Leonard was done through Nyota, who wasn’t exactly calm herself.

If Pavel tried to climb into his lap to make out one more time, Jim was going to lose it and he wasn’t sure what the results of that would be. Jim had completely given up on trying to get any work out of Janice or Carol who had taken to making out in his ready room, he wasn’t brave enough to tell them to stop. Scotty and Keenser scarred engineering, Jim could have gone his whole life not knowing about those two.

Just when Jim was about to send out another message to the Endeavor, the internal ship comm went off.

“Captain,” Nyota said, turning from her stations, “They think they found a cure but Spock says we need to isolate the plant and clear the air systems of the ship.”

Jim shot up from his chair. 

“Chekov take the conn. Uhura, I’ll need you to give me a signal when they’ve isolated the plant. I’m heading down to engineering to flush the vents. Hopefully we can solve this problem.” Jim said as he made his way to the turbo-lift.

\---

People were sent to med bay in groups of ten to get the hypos Spock, Leonard and Hikaru managed to create. Anyone who hadn’t been vaccinated was kept in quarantine. The Endeavor was kind enough to say in the area in case of more complications but with the last hypo injected the two ships parted.

Jim finally handed over the conn to gamma shift and headed to the officers’ mess. The smaller mess hall, used for officers with rank of Lieutenant-commander and above or those who headed departments, was already housing Jim’s command crew.

“What is this?” Jim asked, “An impromptu meeting I wasn’t informed of? Have I been voted off the island?”

“No, but you should be,” Nyota said. “We were just talking about how everyone but Karu managed to steel a kiss from you over the course of this adventure.”

“Oh?” Jim asked, a bemused expression taking over his face. “Does he want to?”

Hikaru nodded, “I’ll admit, I’m kind of curious on what I might be missing out on.”

Jim raised his eyebrows at that. “Alright.”

Jim leaned down and kissed his pilot. The two pulled away and Hikaru said, “You’re a pretty good kisser Captain.”

Jim shrugged as he sat down at the table the seven were sharing.

“Well, Keptin?” Pavel asked, leaning with his elbows on the table.

Jim turned wide-eyed towards the navigator. “Well, what?” He asked.

“Come on, lad, who’s the best kisser?” Scotty asked. “And you can’t say your boyfriend!”

Jim swallowed as he looked around the table. Scotty, Hikaru, Pavel, and Nyota waited with expectant faces while Leonard appeared to be holding back laughter at his boyfriend’s expense. Jim’s gaze landed on Spock who sat at Nyota’s left with an expression on his face that spelled out his clear confusion at his illogical human friends.

Jim smirked and everyone leaned back knowing he was about to turn the joke back on them.

“Out of you five?” Jim asked. “I’d have to say Spock. There’s nothing like a Vulcan kiss but clearly of the seven of us, I am.”

As his friends started protesting and arguing, Jim winked at his first officer and left the mess to eat his meal in his room. If Leonard followed him, well, it wouldn’t be the first time he’d kissed Jim in their room.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I figured I'd get the sex pollen trope out of the way.


End file.
